"Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them."
Colossians 3:19
Part 2
Yesterday:
“Husbands, love your wives,”
We men must love our wives sacrificially.
Today:
“And be not bitter against them.”
Husbands, instead of being loving, it is easy to let our wives’ words or actions embitter us. In years as a Biblical counselor, I have been amazed at how the smallest issues can be blown way out of proportion until they look like mountains. When a couple isn’t being “filled with the Spirit” nothing is too small to fight over. And if these offenses are not handled scripturally, they can quickly lead into bitterness as a natural consequence.
The problem with being bitter is that it changes my perspective toward the Lord, and my wife. My bitterness will affect many other people. It is a sin that leads to many other sins.
“Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled,” (Hebrews 12:15).
Husbands, are you bitter? How will you answer these questions?1 Be honest, men.
• Do you hold a grudge against your wife for something she’s said or done?
• Do you tend to paint others with the same broad paintbrush, not just your wife who has offended you? If your wife has wronged you, do you see others in the family as being “just like her?”
• Do you like to tell anyone who will listen to you, what your wife has done? Are you looking for others to tell them how you feel? Do you look for sympathy from others?
• Do you readily and willingly accept your wife’s advice? Do you readily listen to what your wife tells you? Bitter husbands usually will not.
• Do you justify your jealousy? Bitterness and jealousy are cousins.
• Do you encourage your wife when she is down, and congratulate her when she succeeds or is recognized for her achievements?
• Do you enjoy gossiping about your wife? Is tearing her down to other men something you do?
• Does your wife’s happiness upset you? Why should she be happy when you are miserable?
Husbands, depending on how you answered these questions, you may have a problem with bitterness toward your wife. Hebrews 12:15 speaks of the “root of bitterness.” If you hope to kill the “fruit” of bitterness in your life, you will need to excise the “root.”
Is there any “root of bitterness” in your heart? If so…
1. Acknowledge your sin(s).
2. Deal with your sin(s) with the Lord.
3. Ask your wife to forgive you for your bitterness toward her.
4. Grow and change. Stay in the Word. Live for the Lord and not yourself.
5. Be the servant-leader the Lord has called you to be.
Men, if we genuinely love our wives the way Jesus loves us, there is no place for bitterness in our lives!
1. These questions were inspired by an article written by Katie Uniacke that I read, “10 Telltale Signs Of A Bitter Person (And How To Handle One).” Article downloaded, February 5, 2019, from https://www.aconsciousrethink.com/8431/bitter-person/.