"The Proverbs of Solomon. A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish son is the heaviness of his mother."
Proverbs 10:1
Part 2
Yesterday: “My Wise Son!”
“The proverbs of Solomon.”
“A wise son.”
“Maketh a glad father.”
Nothing is more rewarding to godly parents than to see their child walking with the Lord.
Today: “My Son, a Fool?”
“But a foolish son.”
We parents need to understand that just because our children sin and make mistakes in judgment does not mean he or she is a fool. Every child has judgment problems because they are children and need to be corrected; this is why we teach them. We need to remember that the teaching process can be slow and cumbersome. When your child “blows it” in a big way, and yet they respond to your love, chastening, and teaching, that is not the response of a fool. The fool will not learn from his or her parents or other authorities. They are bent only on going their own way and doing their own thing. Their life habits are the opposite of what a righteous person does (another good reason for parents to study Proverbs).
What are some indicators that a child has stepped over the line and indeed is a fool? Here are a few of the life habits of a fool:
He despises his mother (Proverbs 15:20).
He brings sorrow to dad and mom (Proverbs 17:21).
He is a grief to dad and bitterness to mom (Proverbs 17:25).
He preys upon dad (thinks his father owes him) and drives away his mom (will not care for her) (Proverbs 19:26).
He is arrogant. He curses his parents (Proverbs 20:20; 30:11-13).
He hangs around “gluttonous men” (Proverbs 28:7) and “harlots” (Proverbs 29:3). (He lives by his “feelings,” not by God’s commands).
He robs his parents (Proverbs 28:24).
Whose fault is it that this child has become a fool?
“So we find in Proverbs that the foolishness of a man is not the fault of his parents, but the result of his own decision, the reflection of his own heart. While parents may suffer grief at the foolishness of a son, they are not said to suffer from guilt, for he alone must bear the consequences of his decision to walk in the way of folly”[1] (Bob Deffinbaugh).
“Is the heaviness of his mother.”
“Heaviness.”
“The word ‘heaviness’ means … sadness, sorrow, dejection of mind, a wounded spirit, a broken heart. ‘Foolishness’ denotes, not merely an intellectual weakness, nor merely a religious want, but in general, any … moral deficiency in the … character”[2] (Wadsworth).
Any mom with a fool for a son experiences awful “grief, heaviness, [and] sorrow”[3] over her ungodly child. The godly mom (and dad) have done much for their child; food, clothing, shelter, instruction, the loving “rod and reproof” as was needed. But the child has gone against his/her godly training, and now their mom is shamed.[4]
“Foolish son! It is not your mother only with whom you have to deal. God put it into her heart to love you, to watch over you night and day, to bear with all your waywardness, to labor for you to the wasting of her own life. All this is God’s law in her being.”[5]
And how does a fool reward his or her mother?
“He that begetteth a fool doeth it to his sorrow: and the father of a fool hath no joy” (Proverbs 17:21).
“A foolish son is a grief to his father, and bitterness to her that bare him” (Proverbs 17:25).
And yet there is a faithful mother, still bearing the burden of shame for her foolish child.
Quote: “My son, hear the instruction of thy father and forsake not the law of thy mother: For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck” (Proverbs 1:8-9).
[1] This quote is from Bob Deffinbaugh’s lesson, “14. Wisdom and Child-Rearing (Part 1).” Downloaded: Monday, April 26, 2021. From: https://bible.org/seriespage/14-wisdom-and-child-rearing-part-i.
[2] The quote is by C. Wadsworth, in The Biblical Illustrator, the electronic version in eSword. Proverbs 10:1.
[3] Brown, Driver, Briggs. Brown-Driver-Briggs’ Hebrew Definitions, the electronic version in eSword.
[4] Dad and mom, we cannot leave loving discipline out of our child’s training. To do so makes worse the child’s problems. “The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame” (Proverbs 29:15).
[5] The Biblical Illustrator, the electronic version in eSword. Proverbs 10:1.