"My son, keep thy father's commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother: Bind them continually upon thine heart, and tie them about thy neck."
Proverbs 6:20-21
Solomon’s words to his son in chapters 5-7 warn about the wiles of the “strange woman” who loves adulterous affairs but not her husband. Each of the warnings begins with the caution to pay attention to the Word of God! [1] We can rely on God’s Word to give us the correct information we need about any topic. It also provides the admonishment we need to keep away from evil.
“My son, keep thy father’s commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother.”
Dads and moms, we cannot ignore this inference to be teaching our children the right way to go in life. If our sons are to keep “dad’s commandment” and always remember and obey “mom’s law,” then mom and dad must be teaching what God has taught them.
“My son, hear the instruction of thy father and forsake not the law of thy mother” (Proverbs 1:8).
“Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old” (Proverbs 23:22).
Parents, we are to be teaching godly morals to our children. We dare not wash our hands of our God-given obligation and leave this task to anyone else! Our children will never get these truths from public education, law enforcement, or other “community authority” that does not know our God. We must “train them up.” Yes, our Bible-believing churches, children’s programs, and Sunday Schools can help, but this responsibility rests squarely on our shoulders.
“Implicit in these verses is the basic understanding that a good home life—i.e., father and mother sharing the rearing of the children together—will go a long way to prevent the youth from falling into immorality” [2] (Ross).
A thought for single parents: let your local, Bible-believing church come along beside you to help you round out the biblical training of your children. Ask your godly church leaders for help.
Children, boys, and girls, listen carefully to what your parents teach you!
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honor thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth” (Ephesians 6:1-3).
What do we do with our parent’s “commands and laws,” those wise words that they have learned from the Word of God?
“Bind them continually upon thine heart.”
We “bind” them to our hearts. This old word “bind” means “to bind on, … to bind fast … to bind, tie … to bind to oneself” [3] (BDB). In other words, what dad and mom have taught me from the Word, I keep treasured up in my heart where I can think about these things often.
“Once again Solomon exhorted his son … to heed his father’s and mother’s instructions … and adhere to them inwardly … and have his life graced by them….” [4] (BKC).
“Bind them: “here it pictures him memorizing them in such a way that they are permanently impressed on his essential mental and spiritual being that prompts his every action” [5] (Waltke).
“Bind them on your heart – The son is charged to keep his parents’ commandments close and ensure they will not be forgotten” [6] (FSB).
Solomon uses similar words about God’s mercy and truth –
“Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart” (Proverbs 3:3).
Paul shows us that the Word of God needs to be inscribed on our hearts, something the Holy Spirit does in believers.
“Forasmuch as ye are manifestly declared to be the epistle of Christ ministered by us, written not with ink, but with the Spirit of the living God; not in tables of stone, but in fleshy tables of the heart” (2 Corinthians 3:3).
We share what God has written in our hearts with the lost, the saved, and especially with our children.
“And tie them about thy neck.”
The godly words we have learned are like jewelry we wear, constant reminders to do right.
“For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck” (Proverbs 1:9).
Quote: “Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee” (Psalm 119:11). “Instruction that has been internalized sustains the person who faces moral challenges …” [7] (CSB).
[1] See Wiersbe.
[2] EWC – David Guzik. Enduring Word Commentary, the electronic version in eSword.
[3] BDB – Brown, Driver, Briggs. Brown-Driver-Briggs’ Hebrew Definitions, the electronic version in eSword.
[4] BKC, Sid S. Buzzell, “Proverbs,” in The Bible Knowledge Commentary: An Exposition of the Scriptures, ed. J. F. Walvoord and R. B. Zuck, vol. 1 (Wheaton, IL: Victor Books, 1985), 917.
[5] EWC, ibid.
[6] FSB, John D. Barry, Douglas Mangum, Derek R. Brown, et al., Faithlife Study Bible (Bellingham, WA: Lexham Press, 2012, 2016), Pr 6:20–21.
[7] CSB, David K. Stabnow, “Proverbs,” in CSB Study Bible: Notes, ed. Edwin A. Blum and Trevin Wax (Nashville, TN: Holman Bible Publishers, 2017), 961.